Seven Vigs Of Bad Mush
by MsLanna
Summary: As stated, seven vignettes of mush with Jango and Leila. Has nothing whatsoever to do with the series I write.
1. One

**Title:** Seven Vigs Of Bad Mush  
**Author:** MsLanna  
**Timeframe:** whenever  
**Characters:** Jango Fett, Leila Durmon  
**Genre:** Mush, mush, mush and self realization  
**Keywords:** Mush, Monady Mush Mania  
**Summary:** Leila and Jango find themselves ins situations that demand mush. And I will get it.  
**Notes:** I know Jango and mush don't look like a good team, but it's all his fault. He might have cooperated in 'Bounty hunter' for P2 after I threatened him with these vigs.  
This has nothing to do with the series I write.

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One 

"Oh Mando," Leila sighed when she found herself within the _SlaveI_ again, facing a dishevelled, if armoured Jango Fett. "Did you annoy The Lanna again when she tried to play 'Bounty Hunter?'"

The Mando'a tried to scowl angrily, but since he had indeed annoyed the ToS out of the author in the game and she was pretty angry with him still, he only managed a helpless shrug.

"You of all people should know She's not making idle threats," Leila shook her head sadly. "And now you're stuck with _seven_ viggies of _bad_ mush! Mando, Mando, what did you _think_?"

She approached him and took the helmet from his unresisting hands. "It's not as if _I_ objected, but _you_ have a reputation to hold up. Do you think anybody would notice of we just tried some banter and then went, closed the door on the readers and let their imaginations do the work?"

"I don't think that would work," Jango sighed. "The Lanna is really out after my ass this time."

"For someone who got himself killed several times, you look good, though," Leila teased. "Be glad She was not mad enough to go for your pretty face."

"Great," he snorted.

"Come on Mando, I've yet to see you give up, and _this_ is not the time. I'm sure we can find a way around this. I mean, look at it from this angle: _I'm_ here, and I still haven't thrown myself at you and pulled all cloth and metal off you. Yet. So there is hope."

The assassin hoped that her face did not betray her, because in her mind she was actually almost through with removing metal and cloth. Realizing that he gaze had attached itself to his neckline, while her thoughts were slowly drifting downwards from there, Leila decided to take action immediately, before she visualized … - too late.

She planted her hands to her hips to cover her thoughts up. "Stop staring, get thinking! I don't want to have to work out a plan all by myself that's running contrary to my own wishes. Copy?"

She couldn't see his smirk as she turned away thinking out loud again. "We need to distract Her somehow. Or do something that excludes mush. There must be loads of things we can do. Hunt someone, get in real trouble, what happened to the last guy who crossed Jabba? Or Xizor, is he alive already?"

Pacing up and down in the small corridor, Leila gesticulated wildly. "What about something legal? Or social? Work with kids maybe, there is only so much you can do in front of kids." She stopped and glared at Jango. "Hello? Mando, are you listening? How do you plan to save your inviolacy this time, huh? Any plans yourself?"

"Can't you shut up for starters?"

"What? And risk that The Lanna gets any ideas into her head and a chance to write them in? You and I, we both know where _that_ leads. Are you crazy, Mando?" Leila began to pace again. "Let's see, what can we do? Do you have provisions? The galley is too small for two, it migh-"

Her musings where stopped short, when Jango suddenly reached out, pulled her close and firmly directed her face to his until their lips met.

After a while, Leila pulled back, rather breathless. "So, how long will I have to talk this time before I get a repeat?"

"Make a suggestion."

Leila smirked. "I certainly will."

And she leaned forward again, instigating the next kiss herself. It was not much of an effort to get her hand up his neck and enforce her point. The edges of his armour began to poke into her skin painfully; but it would have taken other measures completely to make her stop.

"Didn't you mention closing the door on the readers earlier?" he whispered hoarsely into her ear. "I think now would be a good time to do so." With a swift movement, he picked her up.

"Whatever you say, Mando. Whatever you say."


	2. Two

Two 

Leila Durmon had decided that she needed a break. Her last employer had had strange ideas which services he bought with hiring her and teaching him the difference between hiring an assassin and messing with one had been tedious to her. To him it had been rather painful, but she was sure he'd recover. In time.

So Leila had taken a day off to stroll the lively streets of Coronet City and enjoy her life and credits. A good dinner had already found it's way to oblivion, and now she was looking out to be entertained. With the possibility of taking the entertainer with her to the lush hotel room she had rented just for such a possibility. But so far none of the advertised entertainments had attracted her.

So when she suddenly stopped short in front of an exclusive looking cantina, even though there was no special entertainment advertised, Leila knew something was going on. Though she really wanted to just pass the establishment by and save a probably huge amount of her credits, her feet felt like glued to the ground as soon as she tried to move anywhere but inside. Leila was sure the it was either the Force or the author. In any case following such a hint would be a good idea. With a sigh, the assassin entered the dimly lit cantina. the interior was lush and uniformed human waiters, served small tables. This was certainly more high classed than she usually liked. A band was positioned to the left of a stage and a few couples were enjoying a jizz on the dance floor. Leila chose a free table and sat down. immediately, a waitress approached, handing her a delicate menu with a smile.

"Welcome to the Charming Corellia," the woman greeted her. "I am Jaria, your waitress, so if there is anything I can do for you, just let me know."

And she was gone again, leaving Leila to browse the menu for a drink. The assassin browsed the prices first, though, and finally decided that she'd either have to get very drunk so she wouldn't care about the bill, or have to order water and secretly get refills in the fresher. Before she had made up her mind, though, a flamboyantly dressed man stepped onto the stage, announcing the highlight of the night, the auctioning of men.

Leila was bout to flee, when the guys in question were herded onto the stage, and she realized that reason she had been drawn to this very establishment. Down along the line stood Jango Fett, conveying irritation despite his armour. Leila was sorely tempted to bang her head on the table, but Jaria chose that exact moment to return.

"Have you decided?" she asked pleasantly.

Though she felt like ordering the whole stack of Alderaanian uisge and down it in one big gulp, Leila managed to stop herself.

"A Tatooine Tumbler," she replied, hoping that she would get the full dose of alcohol intended for that cocktail. She was certain that she'd never make it through the night sane, if she stayed sober.

She watched in fascinated horror as the first man was auctioned off. He obviously enjoyed the attention, posing on the stage and showing of his incredibly huge, toothy grin. What was probably even scarier, was the fact that women almost fell over each other to bid credits for him. Leila wondered if he'd still smile so happily when he saw the women who got the award. There was indeed a reason, or two or three, that that woman paid money for a man like that.

Sipping on her drink, Leila waited until her personal merchandise was brought forth. Scanning the other attendees she decided, she better save Fett from such a fate. _That guy is expensive_. Patiently she waited for his turn to come, hoping that the most desperate females had already spent their credits on the other men.

Not that it seemed to happen. Whenever one lady went off happily with her prize, it seemed as if a dozen other women jumped to take her place. Leila wondered where the fun was supposed to be in this, but she did not get far. Jango's time had come. At least, they had set his starting price at 50 credits. Leila let the bidders tire themselves before she placed her first bid at 175 credits.

immediately an elderly Lady raised the price to 180 and Leila had to follow up. Not that it helped much. The woman seemed bent on taking Jango home with her.

"230."

"235."

"240."

"245." This was getting ridiculous and extremely on Leila's nerves.

"250," the woman offered, her tone giving away her frustration with her rival.

"260," Leila held against, glaring.

"270." The woman glared back.

The assassin had enough. "500 credits." Leila stood up and levelled a finger at her rival. "And you: Shut! Up!" She flopped down into her chair again, taking in the pouting apprehension on the old woman's face. But she didn't speak up again.

"Five hundred credits," the auctioneer tried to get the bids going still. "Do I hear one hundred and five? One hundred and five? No? Nobody?" He looked around, but nobody volunteered. "Going once, going twice," he made a last break, but Leila's glare held the other bidders at bay. "Sold to the determined you lady for one hundred credits!"

With a satisfied nod, Leila got up and stalked to the stage. She paid and dragged the bounty hunter back to her place. "Ho did you wind up here?" she wanted to know while she sat down and emptied her glass.

"Spontaneously."

"Just what I thought. So how long do I own you now, and where does my money go?"

"For the rest of the night and to a children's hospital."

"Sounds good, both." Leila smirked. "But seriously, can't you just leave, I mean without me?"

"No," Jango replied. "Against the rules, and the bouncers are in on this."

Leila waved for Jaria. "Get me another Tumbler and a double Moon's Sin for him."

The waitress glanced at Fett and nodded before she left.

"Do you try to get me drunk?" The bounty hunter wanted to know, taking off his helmet.

"Only if you translate that to Mando," Leila grinned suggestively.

In a display of exaggerated exasperation, Jango rolled his eyes. "I forgot you enjoyed this."

"Immensely," the assassin said, putting her elbows on the table and resting the chin in her hands. "So how do you plan to spend the rest of the night?"

"Here."

"Aw, but that's boring, Mando," Leila replied. "I never got what was supposed to be fun about places and events like this."

"Maybe you will find out now."

Jaria returned and placed their glasses in front of them. Jango took his galls and downed it in one swallow.

"He'll have another," Leila said, "and we need a bottle of water with two glasses. I'm not going to drag you out by your feet, no matter how much dents I might be able to get into your helmet that way," she added turning towards her latest purchase.

"Whatever you say." An impish grin tugged at the corner of Jango's mouth. "Whatever you say."

Leila sipped on her drink, ignoring the comment. "Since we are stuck here for the time being, you might want to show your gratitude by entertaining me. Tell me something about yourself."

"I am a bounty hunter," he replied flatly. "I do my job, if I am not hindered by higher powers that demand mush, that is, and that's it. There's nothing to tell."

"Oh, come on Jango," Leila chided, "there is always something to tell. What about your family?"

"They were farmers," his voice was carefully neutral. "They were killed by the Death Watch and I became a Mando'a."

"Sorry, shouldn't have asked," Leila stared into her glass.

"So, what about you?"

The assassin looked up, her face thoughtful. "Well," she said finally, "my parents were small criminals, theft, fraud, cons, what they could get their hands on. And they taught me what they knew about the trade. It was not a very legal childhood, but not unhappy either. Until the first big deal." Leila took a deep breath. "My father told me it would be easy, all I had to do was suffocate a man with a pillow in his sleep. I didn't know why he thought I could do that. I was ten, maybe eleven. So I asked him how I was supposed to get to the man while he slept. My father said, it would be no problem, the man would ask me to stay for the night and the rest would be easy."

"Only it wasn't." Jango's tone made her look up. Leila could not remember ever seeing his eyes so hard and cold, couldn't remember anybody with such a glacial stare.

Slowly, she shook her head. "Of course it wasn't." Folding both hands around her glass she continued, her eyes focused on the tiny pebbles floating to the surface of her cocktail. "But if he hadn't, I mean, I don't think I could have done it if -" she broke off. "When I pressed the pillow to his face, feeling his live slowly seeping away, it felt so right. I had never been so sure of doing the right thing before. He deserved to die. And I vowed to myself that I would never ever let anybody touch me like that again. Never!"

Leila swallowed and looked up. Jango's face was still hard, but she knew the anger was not directed at her. When he reached over and squeezed her shoulder, she managed a tiny smile.

"I sat there, looking at his corpse for a long time. I didn't know where to go. Home was not an option any more, not after what had happened. To think that my parents had not only allowed it to happen, but actually arranged it was inconceivable for me. There was no way I could return. But, I reasoned, if there was one man wishing for such - pleasure, there would be more. And if I could kill one, what should keep me from killing the others, too? So I did."

"All alone?" Jango raised a brow.

"Not for long, no," Leila smiled. "Soon after I began, a woman came to me. 'So you are the girl killing grown men?' she asked. It was not unfriendly, so I said yes. She shook her head. 'You are leaving way to many traces, girl. Come with me and I'll teach you better.' Of course, this time I asked for the price first, but I only had to work for her, theft, cons, murder, whatever. I still call her from time to time."

Shaking her head, Leila pushed the memories back. "Just life, you know, Mando." With one gulp she emptied her glass. "Is it me, or is everybody leaving?"

"They are. Give it another half hour."

"That would still be to early, right?" Leila sighed. "Let's find another crowded spot then."

"In this part of the city, the streets are always crowded."

"Great, lets go for a walk then," Leila said. "Can't be much more than a few hours to sunrise."

Since her bill was enormous anyway, Leila tipped Jaria well and the girl saw them off in a most friendly manner. The night air outside was cool and after the long hours in the cantina even seemed fresh. Leila took a deep breath.

"So what about the future?" she asked falling into step next to Fett. "Any plans there?"

"My business is none of yours," came the curt answer.

"Mando," Leila said rolling her eyes. "I know your business is important to you, but that was not the topic right now."

"There is no family in my future," the bounty hunter said.

"Why? I mean, are you not curious or anything? See, I know that, for whatever peculiar reasons, you seem none to keen on the man and woman plus push and shove stuff, but family? If I ever find the right guy to pull that one off with, you can bet your ship, and mine, that I'll do it."

"The bounty hunting business is not one that is conducive to starting a family."

"Well you should try it some day. I don't know why, but I think you'd be making a good father."

"I'd need to be a good husband first," the bounty hunter objected.

"No, not as such." Leila grinned. "You only have to make her leave the child with you."

"As if any mother was likely to," Jango's tone made clear what he thought of those who did consider it an option.

"Try a Mando woman, then," Leila suggested. "They fight all the time, and the likelihood of one of those biting the dust and leaving you with the child is much higher."

"Not nice."

"What did you expect?" Leila asked. "When have I ever been nice?"

"I could think of an occasion."

"Oh, but that was not being nice, just following my base instincts there." Leila let her head fall against his shoulder and decided to never do that again after the resounding and rather hurtful thud. "So, what now? You know this is supposed to be just a prelude? Nothing but some blah blah until we hit the sack together."

"I happen to like the blah blah," he replied. "The longer the better."

"Me, too," Leila admitted. "Though I'd be lying if I said it was the best part," she added ruefully. "And I have a nice room in a nice hotel."

"Which has which advantages?"

"Room service, mini-bar, I have a whirlpool…."

"You're a hopeless case," the bounty hunter interrupted her.

"I know," Leila sighed. "Let's at least watch the sun rise, okay?"

They climbed the fire ladder of the highest building in their area, their steps ringing loudly in the relative silence of the early morning. The higher they got, the more distant and muted the noise became. When she reached the top, Leila realized how tired she was, spending the whole night walking next to a bounty hunter with a brisk stride was not exactly a promenade. But the view was priceless. The assassin went straight to the edge of the building, her eyes fastened on the slight red glow on the horizon.

"I have not watched a sunrise in ages," she said softly. "There never seems to be the time for it."

She sat down with her feet dangling over the edge, listening to the bounty hunter's approaching foot steps. When he came to a stop she looked up at him. "Do you ever?"

"No," Jango sat down next to her. "There never is time for it."

They kept silent for a while, just watching the dark hues of night change into a symphony of red and oranges, arranged around the deep yellow orb of the rising sun.

"They're so beautiful," Leila sighed. "Full of promise and possibilities. Who knows, maybe this is just the day that you finally know, you are who you're supposed to be, where you're supposed to be and with whom you're supposed to be." She laid back, spreading her arms wide. "Don't you ever get the feeling that everything is just perfect?"

For the longest time, there was no answer.

"Yes," he finally said, turning to her. "I do."

But Leila did not hear. She had fallen asleep, her arms still spread in an all-embracing gesture.

For a while Jango just watched her. Nobody saw him smile under his helmet as he folder her arm over her chest and gently picked her up. There was a bed waiting for this special assassin and an undisturbed day's sleep.

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(the Mando word for drunk 'batnor', literally means 'on your back'.)


End file.
